It seems I am always at the beginning…and that’s a good thing. Have you ever thought about how good it can feel to not know the answer, to not know what is ahead? For me, that is a feeling of anticipation, exhilaration, and mystery. This morning I thumbed through some of the journals I have kept over the years. In my coaching journal (yes! There are two from the Georgetown Leadership Coaching Program). This journal captures me in development, in the midst of being a beginner. The very first day of class, the professor instructed us to write in very big letters on the front pages of our journal: “I AM A GREAT COACH.” He then instructed us to turn the page and to also write in big letters: “IN THE DOMAIN OF COACHING, I AM A BEGINNER.”
I had not visited this journal in awhile. But now that I have engaged a writing coach, I honor beginning this part of my journey as a true beginner.
“September 13, 2009: At this stage of my development, I enter with a beginner’s mind and am open to the possibilities waiting for me. The Universe has opened a door to a new world of learning and developing. I am filled with grace and gratitude.”
I feel alive this morning for many reasons. Honoring the guidance of my writing coach, I woke up early–5:46 to be exact. I quietly went to my creative space that overlooks the backyard and set the timer for twenty minutes–five minutes more than the last instruction from last week. I responded to the prompt: “This life matters.” When the timer went off I set it for ten additional minutes twice. At the end, even I was surprised where my thoughts landed. In one minute I was in the present and soon transported under the Alabama house on stilts, laying on red clay at three years old. I now marvel at the power of memory when we really believe that our lives matter. Something happened under that house. Memory may serve me well if I trust the process of mining my thoughts and embrace the courage to go deeper.
The joy of beginning again. It helps the heart embrace us warts, roses and life that matters.